


now or never

by regionals



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, ed's 26-27 so no discourse in the comments pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 12:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15841014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionals/pseuds/regionals
Summary: It's not as weird as he'd thought it'd be, which is a thought he has far too often at this point. Maybe it's a little weird, just maybe, but he's okay with it.





	now or never

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. If you're here to start discourse in the comments, don't. I disabled anonymous comments, and if you're here to start shit, don't be surprised if your comment ends up deleted. Do not harass me--I am NOT above reporting you if you're harassing me.
> 
> 2\. This isn't beta read, so I apologize if there's any errors I missed, but I'm only human.
> 
> 3\. I needed a break from twenty one pilots RPF so hi I'm back lol

"Isn't it _weird?"_ Alphonse leans across the table in the diner he and Ed are sitting in, smack dab in the middle of a small town on the border of Amestris and Creta. They're there for research purposes, and just to catch up. "Out of _everyone_ I expected you to end up with... _Him?"_

Ed lets out a noise that's a sigh on the verge of a scoff. "Need I point out you're engaged to a _princess?"_ If Al wants to play this game, Ed's more than prepared to take him on at it. "Jeez, _Al._ You could try to be supportive."

"I am, I am!" Alphonse defends himself, waving his hands just a little bit as a motion for Ed to stay calm. "It's just... weird. You've always hated him."

"Well, _yeah,_ because I was a mouthy kid who questioned authority."

"You still question authority," Alphonse deadpans, face almost blank.

"The difference is that he's not my commanding officer anymore, and I hadn't seen him in, what... ten years? Hadn't seen him in ten years, and when we reconnected, I was expecting to hate him as much as I did back then, but I don't. I think what's _weird_ is how _not_ weird it is. Like, I'm dating my former commanding officer who is forty one goddamn years old, and it's just _not weird._ "

***

It happens in a grocery store. Ed's staying in Central for a bit, living out of a basement apartment since he's teaching a year long class on introductory alchemy at one of the local universities. It's an easy job and he's getting enough money from it to live comfortably for at least a few years, so he's not going to complain about it.

He has a package of coffee in his hand, reading the ingredients on the back as if they're going to make any sense to him. He doesn't know a lot about coffee, and he's never particularly liked or disliked it, but over the past few years he's acquired a taste for it, needing it in the mornings lest he act like he's dead all day.

The package looks good enough, and he's cramming it into his basket, which already has a bunch of other stuff in it, and he's looking at the slim selection of creamers this specific shop has when someone knocks into his shoulder, mumbling, "Didn't peg you for a coffee snob."

The person who'd bumped into him stands next to him, looking at coffee for himself, and it's only when Ed looks at him to reply that he realizes who it is. There's a handful of obnoxious responses he could give the Colonel, or General, now, responses that would be expected from him, given his history with this man, but he settles on, "Being an adult can do that to you."

He doesn't make eye contact with him as he reaches for a container of creamer with _vanilla_ written on the front of it. "Accurate. I hear you're teaching now."

Ed huffs. He's not here to play catch-up with General Mustang, but he hasn't seen or really even spoken to this man in a decade, so he figures he can indulge him. "Until June. Blew through my savings, and since I'm something of a _legend_ around these parts, I was offered a pretty penny for my, ah... services."

Mustang scoffs, and laughs. "Services. Right. What are you teaching?"

"Introduction to Alchemy." Ed rolls his eyes. "Not exactly my _dream job,_ but traveling and research isn't going to fund itself." He shrugs, and to kill a little time and to not seem like he's lingering, he grabs a small box of straws.

"It's better than nothing."

Ed isn't sure if ten years has turned him into less of a smart ass, or what, but he's not going to complain about it.

"I do hate to part too soon, but... We should go out for lunch sometime."

That draws some raised eyebrows from Ed, but he doesn't do much more than shrug, and say, "Alright."

***

Mustang, or _Roy,_ as Ed's trying to learn, is somehow more tolerable now than he was a decade ago. Whereas before he'd found his witty, dry humor to be the most infuriating thing on the planet, now, as they're sitting in his living room talking over a few glasses of scotch after having gone out to dinner a few hours earlier, he finds his humor to be the funniest fucking thing he's ever heard.

Ed's always kept Roy at arm's length, never getting too close to him. That's not to say he doesn't trust him, because if he were dangling off of a cliff, he'd definitely call to him to drag him back up, and if Ed were ever particularly struggling with anything, he does feel as if he'd be able to go to Roy about it, but he thinks that the difference here is that now he sort of _wants_ to be closer to him.

Now that their friendship doesn't have the entire government or the fate of their country looming over it, it's different, Ed thinks. It's not a bad sort of different, though. There's no need for professionalism anymore, and it's kind of... nice.

***

The first time Roy brings Ed lunch, he's at his desk in the lecture hall, trying to explain to some kid that there aren't really any hard rules on how to make a transmutation circle. Sure, you probably should be careful about your penmanship and how _neat_ it is, but in the end, as long as you have everything that needs to be on it, there's _really_ no hard rules. He also explains that the more this kid can learn about chemistry and biology, the simpler his arrays are going to get.

Roy steps into the room carrying two bottles of what looks to be a dark cola, and a paper bag that, now that Ed's caught a whiff of, he's pretty sure contains Cretan takeout. The kid (or young adult, really) at Ed's desk stands up so fast that the chair he was on falls over, and he's _very_ fast to have his... _left_ hand at his forehead as he greets Roy. "General Mustang, _sir!"_

Roy seems to hold back a bark of laughter, and Ed's the first to reply, verbally. "Hey, Private McCarthy? You're supposed to salute with your right hand, not your left, and your other arm isn't supposed to be bent behind your back. It's meant to be straight at your side when saluting a superior."

Private McCarthy, corrects his stance, and Roy rolls his eyes, mumbling, "At ease, Private."

Ed points towards his office with his pencil, telling Roy he can wait in there until he's done with his little _tutoring_ session, and, as expected, Private McCarthy is sure to _scram_ as soon as he can get his assignment and his notes gathered up. Ed can't imagine what it's like being so uptight around a superior officer, and figures that's probably why he's not in the military anymore.

Ed tidies his desk up, puts his pencil back into his pencil cup, which he keeps locked in the bottom drawer of the desk as to avoid any would-be pencil thieves, before walking back to his office. As he walks into his office, he pulls his hair out of it's usual ponytail formation, and works on redoing it, since he had a handful of stray strands poking out here and there.

As he sits at his... _other_ desk, he questions the general. "So... you brought me lunch?" His question is half muffled, since he's holding a rubber band between his teeth, but he gets the point across. "What the hell kind of paperwork are you avoiding?" This question is much clearer as Ed finally gets his hair in order, rubber band and all.

"Mm, _tons_ of it, don't worry. Wouldn't be me if I weren't putting it off for as long as possible. I also have to sit in on state alchemist examinations this afternoon, so I figure having lunch with a friend would be a good way to start the afternoon off."

Ed snorts, and grunts a little bit as he reaches forward to take the carton of take out and soda bottle being handed to him.

The lunch that they share that day is nice. Ed learns to appreciate how Roy looks when he takes his military coat off, how his periwinkle button up hugs his body just right while he runs his hand through his hair, which is peppered with streaks of gray, as he laughs at a dumb joke Ed had made.

Lunches like this start to become a once weekly occurrence, sometimes twice weekly, and Ed doesn't complain. If anything, it's an extra meal, which he needs, given he forgets to eat properly in the first place.

***

The first time Ed realizes he might have a crush on _Roy,_ he's out having a few drinks with Winry, who's in Central to give a seminar on automail engineering at the university Ed's currently employed at. They're at a table near the back of the bar, and Ed's telling her a story, something about _Roy,_ and Winry just interrupts him at some point with a laugh, saying, "It sounds like you have a _crush_ on him."

The extent of Ed's reaction is that he sighs and groans and says, _"Shit,"_ under his breath, because she's right. The concept of liking men isn't new to Ed. He's always had an appreciation for men, and women, really, and he's slept with plenty of either of them to feel secure enough in himself and his sexuality, so he's not completely thrown for a loop, nor is he surprised at Winry's suggestion.

***

After his little realization while out with Winry, Ed's expecting it to feel weird the next time he sees Roy, but it doesn't. Nothing's really _changed,_ other than Ed's feelings towards the man, really, and even that change isn't overly drastic. It's more or less a sort of... _oh_ kind of moment. It's a conscious change, Ed thinks, rather than an overall change. He's had the same feelings for a few months now, it's just that, now, he's conscious of them.

He's expecting his next encounter with Roy to feel _weird,_ and he's expecting to make an ass out of himself, kind of like when he had that dumb crush on Winry when they were teens, but he doesn't. They're having dinner at a restaurant in the nice part of Central, with Roy's bodyguards standing nearby, at attention, and probably snooping hardcore.

Ed sort of feels like they're on a date, and he's not complaining. He allows himself to check out the man in front of him, and basks in his attention, soaking up as much of it as he can. If he's going to have a crush on this guy, he may as well work with it and have fun while he's at it, even if he crashes and burns and nothing comes of it.

***

Something does come of it, though.

"Something" comes in the form of a kiss.

Ed learns that, despite the front Roy puts on, he's not a super romantic person. Their first kiss doesn't happen on a boat surrounded by candles in a lake, or anywhere overly public, and it's really not that romantic. Ed doesn't want it to be romantic, because he's not a lovesick sixteen year old, and he's glad that it's not.

After a long day, Ed likes to indulge in a cigarette while he sips at a glass of scotch, and, apparently, Roy is the same way. They're standing on the patio of his house, sharing a drink and a smoke, talking, and one minute Ed's laughing softly and they're having a _moment_ and then the next Roy is leaning over and giving him a soft kiss on the lips. It's not romantic in the slightest, but Ed still feels his heart in his throat and he kind of likes it.

It's not as weird as he'd thought it'd be, which is a thought he has far too often at this point. Maybe it's a _little_ weird, just _maybe_ , but he's okay with it.

He questions Roy, asks him what the kiss was for, and Roy shrugs, saying he just felt like kissing him, and Ed just takes his explanation at face value, because there's really no need to question it more than necessary.

***

Ed isn't one for romantic gestures. He's in Rush Valley over spring break so Winry can do a little maintenance on his automail, and while he's waiting for her to be done with her current client, he winds up having a _chat_ with Paninya.

Paninya lingers around Winry's shop when she's not working, so Ed isn't at all surprised to see her here. (And that's ignoring the fact that Ed's, like, eighty percent sure her and Winry have been together for at _least_ five years now.

Paninya isn't at all subtle about snooping, and Ed can guess what she's doing as she pulls a chair over to him, faces it backwards to him, and plops down in it to face him. _"So,_ Winry tells me you have a _crush."_ She bats her eyelashes and Ed barely manages to contain his laughter.

At sixteen, Ed's sure he would've huffed and puffed and maybe yelled at her, but at twenty seven, he shrugs, and says, "Maybe," before taking a sip of his coffee and looking back to his newspaper. He's already read it twice since he's been here, but he doesn't want to make eye contact with Paninya because he hates her stupid shit-eating look that he _knows_ is on her face right now.

She pesters him about his _crush_ for awhile, before suggesting he gets them a bouquet of flowers. Ed snorts at the thought of walking up to Roy's house with a bouquet of roses, thinks it's hilarious, yet a few weeks later he finds himself carrying a dozen red roses, and knocking on Roy's front door around eight in the evening.

It's a Friday and Ed knows Roy leaves work early on Fridays (when he can, at least) so he figures him being home is a safe bet.

Roy answers his door, and he has a warm smile on his face. Ed really likes the small smiles this man always has to offer. He's not one for extreme facial expressions, and tends to be pretty solemn when it comes down to it, but his small smiles and expressions are more than enough to make up for it in his opinion.

Roy squints a bit as he looks at the roses and Ed remembers that his vision never got quite better. Philosopher's stones are powerful and all, but not all damage is reversible or fixable. "You... got me roses?"

If anything, he looks flattered and Ed shrugs. "I guess, yeah. Had a chat with someone. They told me roses were supposed to be romantic, or something. So. Here." He holds them towards Roy, who takes them almost carefully.

"Romantic, huh?" he mumbles as he backtracks into his home, motioning for Ed to follow him. Ed does, obviously. He closes the door behind him, and toes his shoes off before standing at the counter in Roy's kitchen while he unwraps the roses, and sets them in a vase, before carrying them to a window so that they can get some sun whenever the sun comes back up. "You're... _interested,_ then?"

"I mean, _I guess,"_ Ed starts, and he feels his voice picking up his Eastern dialect, since he's a little nervous. "You'd think Hell was freezing over at me admitting that, and that it'd be _weird_ for me to be interested, but it doesn't feel weird and I don't know why it needs to _be_ weird." He shrugs, and scratches at the back of his neck, waiting for a response.

"I feel like it's weirder for me to be interested in my twenty seven year old former subordinate," Roy mutters as he adjusts the roses a bit. "I don't feel weird about it, though, especially if you don't either. I'm so _old,_ though."

Ed rolls his eyes. "Don't even start with that." He steps over until he's standing in front of Roy, and reaches up to place a hand on his cheek, swiping his thumb across the man's cheekbone, before leaning forward for a kiss. It's an affectionate kiss, and it's _soft._ "I like a man with a little texture, yeah?"

"Is that what you're calling my wrinkles? Texture?"

Ed nods with a somewhat doofy grin on his face, and Roy just smiles to himself before stealing another kiss.

***

Ed isn't the kind of person who's going to be able to settle down and have a family, and as June approaches, he has to remind Roy of that. Has to remind him that, come June, he's probably going to be traveling and continuing his alchemy research, and Roy is alright with it.

Ed thinks that, the reason he and Winry didn't work out, was because she wasn't okay with it. She needed someone stable and dependable to be waiting for her at home, so, like, the opposite of Ed, and admittedly, Ed needs the same. He knows Roy doesn't travel nearly as much as he does, and knowing in the back of his head that he's always going to have someone to come home to is something that he thoroughly enjoys.

He grew up thinking that he was always going to need to be _stable_ and _dependable,_ but as he's gotten older, he's learned to just say _fuck that,_ because, really, he can be whatever he wants to be. Ed doesn't like staying in the same place for too long. Sure, he enjoys having a home to come back to, but he likes to go out and see the world, and to try new things and to have new experiences. You can't do that if you spend your life living in the same city.

Roy _understands_ that. He explains that when he was a younger man, he could never stay in the same place for too long without getting some sort of weird, nervous reaction, kind of like the emotional version of hives, but as he's gotten older, he's gotten more alright with the idea of living in the same place, even saying that if he wants to be fuhrer, he _needs_ to be alright with it.

Ed also explains that he doesn't feel the burning desire to travel nearly as much as he did when he was, say, eighteen, but that he still doesn't like being cooped up in the same place for more than a few months, and that he's already about to lose his mind from being crammed into his shitty basement apartment for the past year or so while teaching.

***

Almost as soon as Ed gets his last paycheck, he hears something from _someone_ about some sort of weird breakthrough with Cretan alchemy, which he thinks is the perfect excuse to just fuck off to Creta for a few months.

The breakthrough, so to speak, wasn't anything massive and it was the kind of thing Ed could come up with in half an hour on his own time and someone to test his theories for him, given that he can't, but he still takes his notes and butters the locals up with his quiet and humble Amestrian charm.

He finds his way back to Central around August, and although it's not necessarily ideal, he feels pleased at the fact he has someone waiting for him. (Or, well, not waiting _for_ him necessarily, but at the very least, someone to, y'know, go home to.) Ed's not a very greedy person when it comes down to it, and in the long run, and he's okay with being pleased by the simpler things in life.

He gets his fill on domestic bliss between his ventures to other countries or other parts of Amestris, with a month or two here and there spent in Roy's home, two or three times a year. (It's not like they don't see each other more often than that, because occasionally, Ed runs into him whenever he's out east, or whenever he's staying at one of the border cities for a few nights or so.)

It's not the average person's idea of _ideal,_ but it's _enough._


End file.
